"Adults Shouldn't Step on Babies!"

ADULTS SHOULDN'T STEP ON BABIES!!! .........yes....actually a line I yelled in my house earlier this evening.

This isn't necessarily meant to be a man bashing post....HOWEVER, it is no secret that mothers have certain instinctual behaviors that fathers lack. (such as not stepping on their children) Some men will vehemently disagree, and obviously, there are exceptions on both sides.

However, it is obviously a nationwide consensus (at least in Hollywood)...just look at sitcom characters. The roles taken by the mother and father figures...it is most ofter the mother character who is "take charge", and the father character who is getting into trouble by doing "offbeat" things when it concerns the household/children. Just look at Everybody Loves Raymond, Home Improvement, Cosby Show, Roseanne, Modern Family, and so on. Hollywood would not produce such types of characters if the American public couldn't relate, right?

(That said, these fathers are the most fun, and loving dads...and Dave is no exception. The girls make no quams about choosing to live with him when I threaten to move into an apartment by myself....and they often warn him not to engage me in arguments.)

Back to stepping on the baby. This is not the first time this has happened. It is actually the second. (hence the screaming of the above mentioned). I would be interested to see how many mothers have actually stepped on one of their children. (accidentally, anyway)

I don't know, maybe the guy legitimately has NO peripheral vision? In his defense, he was performing another task when both "incidences" occurred. Which will segway into my my next issue of total lack of multitasking capabilities. It seems to me that men can do one thing at a time....period. For example, if Dave happens to be watching the baby, that is ALL he is doing - he wont think twice about using it as an excuse:

"Umm, Hon, the soup I had on the stove boiled over onto the cat resulting in the loss of all his fur, his eyeballs and tail. I think he might be dead. Why didn't you do something?

"I couldn't....I was watching the baby!"

Imagine if we homemakers could get away with this line. There would be no food, no clean clothes, none of the OTHER children would get where they needed to be. I could simply say "I was watching the baby". I could get away with this for at least 24 months or so.

Granted, we do have more practice....those of us who are home 24/7. However, I can look at it from both sides of the coin as I have been a full time working mother for 13 out of the last 14 years of my life. And when I WAS employed, I never stepped on one of my kids. (I caught a hand in my car door...twice in a row...but that's it)

Sometimes I think common sense eludes the male brain when it comes to small children. Just the other day, we were running late. The baby was downstairs wearing only a diaper. I was the last to get ready (per usual because I am usually helping the girls get ready). One might think it would be obvious that the baby needed clothes on. Nope.

It wasn't until I yelled down to get her dressed that it happened. For almost 12 months, Dave has asked me EVERY time where Emmas pajamas are. This time, it was her clothing. "In her drawer" (??) - where did he think her clothes were.... in the bathtub?

At any rate, I told him to grab a one piece outfit from the second drawer. I heard him lovingly telling Emma about her cute little monkey on her shirt.

Now, I know there is no one piece with a monkey face on it. So I run out of the bathroom with a toothbrush hanging from my mouth. They are halfway down the stairs.
"what are you putting her in?" He held up a onesie style shirt, and had no pants.
"umm, its snowing...Don't you think pants might be a good idea?"

I also quite enjoy the denial that babies may awaken AFTER we (he) are (is) asleep. The truth, the baby wakes up EVERY night.

Just the other night, I was meeting friends for drinks. I didn't anticipate being very late as it was a weekday, and the baby had been sick. Just in case, I advised that should she awaken cranky, and with a fever (as she had for the past two nights) she was not able to get her dose of Motrin until after 11:30. His immediate response was "oh, I will be out cold by then". alrighty then....I'll be home in an hour.

I guess I shouldn't complain. Its the nature of the beast. It could be much worse....at lease he tries. He does laundry and washes dishes. He goes to market (even if he DOES use the excuse of "i didn't go in that isle" when I ask why he didn't buy certain items)

He sometimes lacks common sense and I am a bitch who wears ugly underwear.....and that's that.