Beachy Clean.....

Today was a significant day in the year for me. Not because is was my 36th birthday, but because it marked the first day of the 2010 beach season.

I went to bed happy last night...knowing that today was going to be in the mid 80's, and I would keep my girls out of school so that we could experience the first beach day together. (ok, I wanted to be able to enjoy a little sun time while they chase the baby around)

The house was awake at about 7am...far too early for a non school day. As I opened the drapes, I was excited to see the sun is beaming in!

The first item on the agenda...I need to take a shower. Normally, I would not shower prior to going to the shore, however, a clean shave is required. Shaving for summer is dissimilar to shaving in the fall, winter and even spring. You see, in the summer, the most skin is exposed and reaches approximately 2 feet above the knee...all areas of which needs to be clean and neatly shaven. Not to mention, a bathing suit is going to be worn.....in pubic...I mean public. (bringing me to the real issue)

Anyone who has seen Sex and The City, (the first movie) can remember the scene is which Samantha is all over Miranda about the "situation"...and the horribleness of it. There will no "Situation" in this camp.

I should have purchased a new razor for the event....older razors tend to cause the job to take longer than necessary. As such, I figured a quick scissoring was initially required.

Unfortunately, the only scissors I could find were from my scrapbook box....and anyone who does scrap booking knows that scissors used for scrap booking do not have straight edges. The ones I had have a pretty wave and peak pattern...nice. (nice for paper, that is. I will leave it at that)

So, on to the rusty razor. The rusty razor cut me in 4 places. Which lead me to my bathing suit choice.

I have a bathing suit compulsion comparable to my shoe compulsion. I keep my suits catalogued in two drawers. Each suit is kept in a ziploc lunch bag. I have lone tops and bottoms as well which are kept in their own baggy's. I have drawn a picture on the bag so as to know what is inside. There are 108 baggies in all. Clearly a problem, I know.

Today's suit will not be one of the better ones, as I know the beach will not be crowded, and no sense wasting a super suit on a bunch of seagulls. I had little choice anyway.

Due to the bikini job that looked like it was done by Michael Meyers, I had to wear a skirted bottom. (not an old lady skirt, but a skirt just the same)

Next, I had to blow out my hair. Again, not something I would normally do. However I had to have my picture taken for my beach club ID. The pictures are usually small and grainy, however, I feel it necessary to look my best. I even put a little eyeliner and lip gloss on. I had to compensate for my license picture which is 7 years old and was taken 2 weeks after I gave birth. I had tried to bribe the woman at the AAA DMV for a new pic at last renewal, but she wouldn't do it (i had also done my hair and wore good makeup).

I walked to the office door of the beach club, hoisted my boobs up and a bit out of my bikini top to elicit some some cleavage ( in the event they made the picture) and proceeded in. Unfortunatley I wasn't able to get my pic done for issues related to the beach club.

SO, I made sure to have Ava take my pic on the beach so the effort I put in was not wasted (I could at least get a new Facebook profile picture).

The remainder of the day was filled with a sandy crotch, runny eyeliner, breasts flashed (thanks Emma) to an old man sitting in front of me, and a bunch of crabs. Happy Birthday.

I ponder how funny that my life has come full circle - ...the difference being that in my late teens, sandy drawers, runny eyeliner and exposed boobs were the result of a good date (the crabs.... a result of a bad date)