Don't do that or else.....

In addition to scaring the shit out of my lil' ones in the hopes of keeping them safe, there are also just some things they shouldn't do....or say.

"Time outs" don't really work with my children...frankly, I never used this as a form of punishment. So many kids I know are in a time out at least 10 times a day. Common sense would dictate that CLEARLY, it has no effect if you need to do it more than once...maybe twice at them most. These kids are smarter than their parents. They know a time out is temporary, and really, once its over, its over. (until the next one)

No, something more effective was needed. Aside from physical violence...(which I only threaten in a worst case scenario) I needed to come up with something my kids would buy into.

First, at a very young age, the scene had to be set if you will. A little background per say so that when it was time to pull out the big guns, there would be merit to my words...at least in their minds.

I planted the seeds. The first, was Jesus. This is a good one seeing as though we ARE Catholic. Granted, I am a but of a hypocritical Christian as I do not regularly go to Church, however, i have always taught the kids my beliefs in Jesus. They believe he is good, almost perfect, and expects goodness from the people on Earth. Now, I did throw in my one little ditty's here and there.

"Ava, Liza.... Jesus will make the decision and whether or not you will go into heaven. He keeps a list and makes check marks when you do something good...or bad"

I, like many parents, used Santa. However, it occurred to me that Santa does not last forever, and therefore would be of no use to me once they caught on the there was no Santa watching them. I went above Santa...straight to the big guys son...Jesus. I figured out something that many wouldn't think of.

You see, eventually, and soon, the kids will not believe in Santa. And then you got nothing. I have Jesus. And Jesus will last a loooonnnggg time. Forever, even.

As such, I use "Jesus is Watching you"....and it works, the majority of the time.

Next. I always make it a point to tell my children about actual law. Crime. What is punishable by law. What will land you in the clink, earn you some community service, or hand over your birthday money as "fine" payment. Specifically, I enjoy throwing the word "felony" around...and a felony is punishable by a life behind bars or death.

So, in addition to Jesus is watching you, I have my next go to threat: "Don't do that.....its a felony".

Things that constitute a felony can be inappropriate name calling, wasting food, or walking on the playground mulch with shoes on. Police are far more scary than me at this point. Granted, not as good as Jesus...but works just the same.

I have made it very clear that unlike the "time out", pissing off Jesus is not temporary...and committing a felony means being taken away, and possible lethal injection.

My children are by no means the most perfectly behaved kids in the hood...not by far (especially one of them). However, I pride myself in the fact that when I sling a threat, it sticks...and the behavior usually ceases.