Its just a Baby...One Baby...

OK, so there is this show, on a cable learning channel, about the first several days home with a new baby. I am sure every pregnant woman sits with eyes glued to the screen, soaking in the good, the bad and the ugly in regards to new babies. This is particularly true for new mothers.

I am not sure why I continue to watch these shows, but I do.

Now, my commentary/opinion:

Bullshit. It is all complete and utter bullshit. Day one. The baby comes home. The mom, the dad, four sets of grandparents and a couple of cousins twice removed are all there cooking dinner and helping clean the house.

The mom and dad change the baby's diaper, together, about every 40 minutes. People...unless you are using cloth diapers, you seriously do not need to change the diaper EVERY pee. They are good for at lease 9 or 10 pees. You just squeeze the crotch...if its gel like, change the diaper. If not, then you're good. If it smells like poop, change the diaper. (And for God sake, the thing is like 7 pounds...if one of you cant do it yourself, they you are clearly stupid and shouldn't have had a baby)

I especially get a kick out of the episodes when the grandparents actually move in to help with the baby and tend to the home. When the baby wakes at night, every able body in the house is up...lights on, walking around the house, heating bottles, changing diapers, conversing about how hard it is. Its a freaking BABY....one little baby. Really.....get a grip. Women had babies in cotton fields on their lunch breaks...and then slung the kid on their backs and went back to work.

The portrayal is completely ridiculous to me. No one stayed at my house...no one got up with me. No one came to clean my house. I kept my supplies next to my bed which consisted of 2 diapers and a bottle of water. Period. No lights went on, no conversation was had. In fact I was alone. My husband has never gotten up with a baby a night in his life. (Occasionally, I would offer Ava a few bucks to stay with me...but she often declined)

After about a week of this nonsense, the most awful thing happens....the grandparents leave and her husband goes to work. Oh no. Whatever will she do? She sits, interviewed by the show and begins to spew about how she cannot wait until her husband comes home, how she is tired. Tired? You were one of 14 people up with this baby last night (??)

I know I am not the only one who feels this way about the programming....I have spoken to several friends who have the same impression, so I know I am not being bitchy (well, I am, but I am right this time)

Anyway, a warning to those who believe that this is what its like the first several days....it doesn't need to be the overwhelming circus the program makes it out to be. You husband may move to the sofa...and never come back. Your parents may pop in long enough to overstimulate the baby, and you will be no worse for the wear.

After about a year of this, you will be in marriage counseling, taking xanax, and threatening to leave on a plane or rent a one bedroom .....with your cat.