The Playground

I went to the playground today. It was my idea. In fact, I have been to a playground more than several times over the past two weeks or so. But today, it was legit...the big time playground. As I pulled up, several dozen mini-vans, SUVs and station wagons lined the street outside the parking lot, meaning only one thing...I would be walking into what used to be one of my biggest nightmares... a bunch of stay at home moms and screaming children.

I pulled into the lot, and surprisingly enough, I found a front row spot. The girls jumped from the car and bolted into the playground...before i was able to give my speech about child molesters and random wild animals who prey on children who are not in close proximity of humans over 5 feet tall.

I unclipped the baby from her car seat, managed to grab my iced coffee, sippy cut and bag of fast food that I had grabbed for a healthy lunch and proceeded into the play area.

As usual, I neglected to remember that this was a donated playground for the handicapped that relies on donations to run. Embarrassed (however not enough to go back to my car) I reached into my pocket, took out an invisible couple of bucks and quickly motioned into the bucket so as to look like I was donating..just in care all the professional SAHMS were looking at me. ( i know, I know...oooo..ahhh...what a horrible little woman) anyway.

I as I chose my bench, I was at the very least, concerned that I could see the kids regardless of where there were in the park. I don't know who I was kidding...I knew I would be more interested in conversing with my girlfriends who were meeting there as well.

The first of the friends arrived. She brought with her a gaggle of children. One of which was a bit older, and seemed bored to be at a playground. Perfect for me..."Would you like to watch my baby?" I already knew she would be more than willing- I was her age once and I know what little girls that age like...kissing boys...err.. I mean babies..yeah..babies. And I was right on...see ya! Em looked a bit scared that I was sending her off with a complete stranger, but I really didn't care. Umm...I mean I cared... And I kissed her and hugged her and told her mommy would be right here for her. And I checked on her often.

I looked around. There were strollers, and moby wraps, and woman chasing their kids all over the place. I quite enjoy people watching and this was the most entertainment I had gotten all week. I mean really, I can watch my kids anytime...but this was a real treat.

I enjoy the hairstyles. Its rare to see a mom on the playground who has brushed, or better yet "blown out" their coif. Many don messy ponytails or half-buns. I prefer the tight pony with a headband to ward off flyaways. There are quite a few hats...baseball hats....not sun, or derby style, either.

T-shits and their husbands over sized sweatshirts seem to be the top of choice. I on the other hand, go in the opposite direction...and don a shirt that could be Ava's...too small I am sure.

Pants...Capris are the pant of choice for the playground mom. I guess because at this time of year, our legs are too white, too hairy, for shorts. Sweatpants are a good option as well... I prefer the latter....yes, even in public.

There was one mother there...who, from the back, didn't l00k half bad. That was, until she turned around. Baby in stroller....toddler in hand. And there it was. On a playground..with a hundred + kids. A t-shirt that donned the phrase "I used to be F*CKING IDIOT, But then we broke up". WHAAATT??? Maybe you or friends can't, but a lot of these kids can READ!!!
Although appalled, my 7 yr old was a bit amused (by the bad word). Not good.

I watched as nervous moms chased the little ones in a frantic hurry... "where is (insert ridiculous name here) have you seen (insert another ridiculous name here)?" Maybe if you gave your kid a name that wouldn't ensure her a spot on the stripper pole, or front row at the gay pride parade (not that there's anything wrong with that) your kid wouldn't be hiding in the Koi pond.

I think however, the best part of the visit was the announcement that came over the loud speaker " WOULD THE NURSE WHO HELPED THE WOMAN WHO PASSED OUT ON THE PLAYGROUND PLEASE COME TO THE OFFICE".

That tickled my fancy. I only wished I had seen it. It wasn't that hot...I can only imagine that she took a little too much of her kids ADD medication.

As my visit was cut short by a call from my mom needing a ride from the airport, I gave one last scope around the grounds. A sigh followed by the thought " I am so lucky to be able to stay home with my babies, and take them to the playground, zoo, or wherever"

(what i really thought was " Wonder who will go out with me tomorrow night..I need to blow out my hair, but a nice outfit on and have a couple of cocktails") Call me.