It has come to my attention, that I often have as much to say about my four legged roommates as I do my two legged ones. Moreover, they may be a tad more work that I originally anticipate. (I think that if I were to bring all of my animal hoarding to the attention of a therapist, coupled with the day to day child rearing issues, he or she might see the animals as a representation OF my children. However, the animal children...I can dispose of at will. Something that I may subconsciously, may want to do to the ones I've actually bore.)
Many of you who know me, I know, were in some sick way, disappointed that Olivia turned out NOT to be pregnant. I know this, because some of you have told me so. You are sick enough to admit the hilarity you would have found knowing I was going to assist in birthing piglets in my bathtub.
Although the Dr. could not officially say that she was NOT pregnant when I brought her in, he was fairly certain that she was too young. This made me very happy, and the ride to the vet which included her shitting all over my car, and me throwing up out the window, well worth it.
Approximately a week after the visit, something I had not anticipated, nor expected occurred with my darling piglet. She got the evil in her....chewing on everything, opening drawers, biting....it was like she had been possessed. In fact, she was, in a way.
Many of you who know me, I know, were in some sick way, disappointed that Olivia turned out NOT to be pregnant. I know this, because some of you have told me so. You are sick enough to admit the hilarity you would have found knowing I was going to assist in birthing piglets in my bathtub.
Although the Dr. could not officially say that she was NOT pregnant when I brought her in, he was fairly certain that she was too young. This made me very happy, and the ride to the vet which included her shitting all over my car, and me throwing up out the window, well worth it.
Approximately a week after the visit, something I had not anticipated, nor expected occurred with my darling piglet. She got the evil in her....chewing on everything, opening drawers, biting....it was like she had been possessed. In fact, she was, in a way.
She was in heat. and with each day it got worse. I like to think I educate people every now and again...and my lesson for today is: FEMALE PIGS HUMP.
Yes, they hump legs...and violently. She would chase whomever caught her eye....charge forward and grab onto the leg...feverishly biting at your kneecap. It was frightening....and we mostly had to stay in a different floor than she. It didn't take Emma to learn the word "HUMP", either...and she used it as a warning call whenever she saw Olivia coming.
By the second day of this disturbing sexual assault, I had made an appointment to get her spayed. The sooner the better, as I learned that this would occur every 21 days.
The operation went off without a hitch.....one day in the hospital, and $300 later and she was good to go. We picked her up, and she was well enough to once again, shit all over my car and cause me to vomit.
She had a swollen little belly decorated with 10 "black stitches. Emma was very concerned about her booboo. It took Ava and Liza three days before it occurred to them to question what it was that Olivia actually had surgery for. I all too quickly answer before thinking. "She got her lady parts out". Quiet fell over the room before Ava blurted "oh, so she cant poop or pee?"
"No, it means she cant have babies" "Oh" she said, "so now she's a boy?"
( I told her she needed to read the Girls Life "MY BOD" book she got for Christmas immediately....cover to cover.)
By the second day of this disturbing sexual assault, I had made an appointment to get her spayed. The sooner the better, as I learned that this would occur every 21 days.
The operation went off without a hitch.....one day in the hospital, and $300 later and she was good to go. We picked her up, and she was well enough to once again, shit all over my car and cause me to vomit.
She had a swollen little belly decorated with 10 "black stitches. Emma was very concerned about her booboo. It took Ava and Liza three days before it occurred to them to question what it was that Olivia actually had surgery for. I all too quickly answer before thinking. "She got her lady parts out". Quiet fell over the room before Ava blurted "oh, so she cant poop or pee?"
"No, it means she cant have babies" "Oh" she said, "so now she's a boy?"
( I told her she needed to read the Girls Life "MY BOD" book she got for Christmas immediately....cover to cover.)
On day 10, I added another bullet to my resume as I successfully removed all 10 stiches from Olivias gut. Impressive, I know.
Earlier today I picked Sadie (the dog) after surgery for a hematoma on her ear. (her head is wrapped in blue dressing and I have the kids convinced that she had an ear amputation...its quite humorous). Between the pig and dog, it has occurred to me that my pet/vet expenses this month have severely cut into my boob job fund, and for today, I am thinking someone needs to be cut from the budget. I am sure Spooky, the elder cat will require the next medical visit....making him a likely target. hmmm.......stay tuned.
I vote for Olivia...she has to go!
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